Two friends were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you? "Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watch others work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."
最後一個是亮點，不懂英文的估計看不懂。 ;-)李莫愁 Don't Worry Lee ；李尋歡 Be Happy Lee ；常遇春 Always Meet Spring ；楊不悔 No Regrets Young ；楊逍 Happy Young ；範遙 Far Fan ；王重陽 Double Sun King ；金輪法王 Golden Wheel-in-law ；謝遜 Thankson ；黃藥師 Dr. Huang；楊過 Fault Young張三豐 Three peak Chaung令狐衝 Make the Fox Rush任我行 Let Me Go(讓我走)喬峰 Look Crazy(瞧瘋)
最後一個"曹操"是亮點，不懂英文的估計看不懂。 ;-)張飛 Open Fly；關羽 Close Feather；關平 Even Close；孔明 Bright Hole；孔融 Melt Hole；劉備 Backup Liu；劉表 Watch Liu；馬超 Super Horse；呂布 LV Cloth；呂蒙 LV Men；曹操 Fuck Cao！
某同學去三亞開會，陶醉三亞美景，開完會準備登機返程前，給老婆發條短信：I’ve had a really wonderful night, and I wish so much you were here.結果，最後的一個“e”給漏掉了。。。
Catch a cold 09-24
During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent."How am I doing?" he asked the coach at the end of the round."Well, if you keep this up," replied the coach, "he might feel the wind and catch a cold."
Our Tails 09-24
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?""I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.Question: How can you say so?Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman........ Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro(Bull)Question: How can you say so?Ms Spain: Because it charges every time it sees an opening. Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that male organs in our country are like gossip or rumors.Question: How can you say so?Ms Philippines: Because it passes from mouth to mouth. Question: Ms Iran, how do you describe a male organ in your Country?Ms Iran: Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves.Question: How can you say so?Ms Iran: Because they like to enter through the back door.Question: Ms India, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms India: Well, I can say the male organs in India are like labourers.Question: How can you say so?Ms India: Because it works day and night...... Question: Ms Singapore,how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms Singapore: Well, I can say that male organ In Singapore is very Kiasu (Afraid to lose).Question: How can you say so?Ms Singapore: It always wants to rush in quick and leave 15 minutes before the show is over. Question: Ms China, how do you describe a male organ in your country?Ms China: Well, I can say that male organs in China are like a space plane.Question: How can you say so?Ms China: Because it brings you to paradise within few minutes........
How do you know that? 09-24
Bob: My car doesn't have a speedometer.Rob: Then how do you know how fast you're going?Bob: Well, when I'm driving at 15 miles an hour, the fenders rattle; at 25 miles an hour, the windows rattle; and at 30, the motor starts knocking-and that's as fast as it'll go.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one. “Meow,” says the redhead. “It must be a cat,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack. “Woof,” says the brunette. “Must be a dog,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack. “Potatoes,” says the blonde.
The Looney Bin 09-24
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"Another one said, "How do you know?"The first inmate said, "God told me!"Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"